


It's Green

by SixStepsAway



Series: Tumblr Prompts [2]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Gen, Tumblr Prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 05:49:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10564893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SixStepsAway/pseuds/SixStepsAway
Summary: Tumblr prompt: Legends: Connor Hawke joins the cast and keeps making vegan meals for everyone which makes Rory try (emphasis on try) to punch him. (Connor is closer to the comics version a zen Buddhist vegan with an insane level of proficiency in aikido.)





	

“It’s green.” 

Mick Rory had put up with a lot of shit on the Waverider. He’d consistently been diminished and demeaned, he’d been treated like a psycho (which, he supposed he was but ever since his time in the Vanishing Point he also wasn’t anymore) and just plain ignored. 

But this... this was the worst part of everything. 

They’d crash landed in Star City twenty-he-didn’t-fucking-care _again_ and Connor Hawke had come on board. 

Rip had made some dying seal noises and pointed out he was an aberration or some shit like that, but Mick had tuned him out and had only imagined clubbing him a _little_. 

See? He wasn’t as psycho as he once was. 

Connor had fit in well at first. Mick hadn’t really interacted with him beyond a nod of approval when he beat the shit out of some guy who’d taken Sara by surprise, but he’d fit in. 

And then Haircut’s damned chore wheel had come into effect, placing Connor in _cooking_. 

Mick had tried a few times to make it so that only Haircut landed in cooking, but he’d never quite cracked how to recode that. He’d managed to make it so that the wheel didn’t land him in cleaning the toilets (really, it was just a simple if variable added to Haircut’s insane chore wheel code that said if Mick landed on Cleaning it just had to keep rotating). He wasn’t sure why Haircut’s idea of a chore wheel had to be randomised and spinny but there you go. Maybe it was so no one could complain it was rigged.

Ha. 

Suckers. 

But back to Birdman and his damn cooking. 

Mick had sat down for lunch, looked down and... green. 

He had a feeling that one part was _kale_. He didn’t know what the rest was. He’d only eaten kale once and that was because Lisa had made a joke and Leonard had insisted he could _totally_ eat healthy food, he wouldn’t even notice the _difference_. 

(He’d noticed. They’d _all_ noticed.) 

“It’s green,” he said again, when apparently the first time he hadn’t been loud enough. 

Birdman paused with one hand on his own plate. “Well... Yes.” 

“Where’s the meat?” Mick demanded. 

“I don’t think there is any, Mick,” said Haircut down the table. “Connor’s a zen Buddhist. He doesn’t eat meat and I doubt he cooks with it.”

Connor shot him a smile. Mick resisted the urge to shoot Connor. 

“Vegan.” Mick poked his food and a potato fell off his plate. “If it doesn’t scream, I don’t eat it.” 

“You eat crackers,” Haircut said. 

Mick turned his head slowly, just slow enough that Haircut knew he was about to die and _shut the fuck up_. 

“Mick, Connor went out of his way to cook a nice meal for us,” Sara said. “I’m next on cooking duty. I’ll make sure your entire plate is meat. Just try his food.” 

He eyed Sara. “Pass.” Her cooking was almost worse than... _green_. 

He really wanted to punch the kid. 

“Maybe your palette just isn’t sophisticated enough to enjoy the flavours,” Birdman said with a big smile, stabbing a piece of green-and-fluffy. 

“What’d you just call my palette?” Mick said. 

“Unsophisticated,” Connor said. 

Down the table, Sara groaned. 

Mick launched up from his seat, swinging a punch at Birdman. 

The next thing he knew he was on the floor. Birdman was still eating his dinner, but now his boot was on Mick’s throat. 

“Ya call that zen?” Mick growled. 

“It was pretty zen from where I was sitting,” Haircut said. He paused. “Connor, let him go.” 

“Only if he eats his dinner,” Birdman said. 

Mick wriggled and squirmed, trying to get out from under the most embarrassing pin of his life. “No!” 

Sara leant towards Rip. “Do you ever feel like we became parents to children in adult bodies?”

Rip looked back at her. “I have for a long time.” 

“It won’t kill you,” Birdman said. He chewed pointedly on whatever the fuzzy green was. “You might even like it.” 

Mick glared at him. “ _Fine_.” 

The boot went away from his throat and Mick climbed back into his seat, stabbing his kale and glaring daggers across the table at Birdman. 

Leonard’s words rang in his head, that he’d gotten soft, but he hadn’t felt it until he was sitting opposite a zen Buddhist who had just kicked his ass, eating kale. 

He looked down at his plate and took a moment to imagine every last item as pieces of Birdman’s body. 

Then he ate his way through the whole lot. 

And chewed excessively.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also still taking prompts over at http://sixstepsaway.tumblr.com!


End file.
